What a difference a year makes

28 Dec

Today I am 3 dozen years old. I had a great day. I went to work, went out to lunch with Ian & the kids, went back to work, then went out to spend a gift card my in-laws had sent me. I used another gift card from Christmas to buy myself this awesome lego set. When I got home I opened the rest of my cards and presents (Adele: 21 on CD, gift cards to my one of my favorite lunch restaurants, and the Lego Star Wars III video game). Then I took Stephen to his guitar lesson, and afterwards we watched a couple of episodes of the Muppet Show (which I received as a Christmas gift, along with THIS AMAZING THING, which won Ian the Husband of the Year Award.)

Other than the bit about the gifts, the day was actually pretty ordinary but I don’t mind at all. In fact, ordinary is exceptional for me. Though I have been battling depression for many years, the last year or two have been a real struggle for me. This time last year I was miserable. I was working 3 jobs, and hardly sleeping; apart from Christmas Day, I don’t think I’d had a day off since Thanksgiving. To say I was exhausted would be severely underestimating my condition. I was also recovering from a painful rejection from a local vet clinic where I had thought I was a shoe-in for a vet tech job. At the time, some friends of mine and I were developing an exciting non-profit project, but I was so busy with all my jobs I hardly contributed. Early this year that project hit a brick wall, and in February it completely choked. When it became clear that we would not be able to revive the project, I almost lost it completely. I was so depressed that I took my lunch breaks alone in an empty conference room so I wouldn’t have to pretend to be happy and make small talk with people.

Then something wonderful happened. My miserable full-time job got suddenly and dramatically worse, which forced me to finally look for something else. I called the temp agency which had previously been helping me in my job search, and told them I was back on the market. As it happened, they had recently received an opportunity which almost exactly fit the description of my perfect job. I can’t even describe how badly I wanted the job. At last I got what I wanted; the job was mine. I quit one of my part-time jobs and focused on healing myself. Eight months later, I am continually amazed at the difference the new job has made in my life. Of course there are frustrations as there would be with any job, but compared to the positives, these are minimal. I absolutely love my job. The lack of stress and the fabulous benefits have improved my life so much I can’t even do it justice here; you will just have to take my word for it. Maybe by this time next year, I will finally remember what it’s like to feel “normal”. For now, I am more than happy with what I’ve got. Thank you all for being there for me this year; I can’t wait to see what wonders the next year holds and I look forward to sharing it all with you!


Posted by on December 28, 2011 in Family Life, Life in General


Tags: , , ,

3 responses to “What a difference a year makes

  1. fargojones

    December 28, 2011 at 10:57 pm

    This was wonderful, and reminds me to have hope in my job hunt. As they sang in Avenue Q, “but only for now”

    • karifur

      December 28, 2011 at 11:06 pm

      Thank you! If you haven’t already, I also highly recommend you read Wil Wheaton’s book Just a Geek. I just finished it, and felt my own anguish and frustration in many of his troubles. I know you too could identify with his experiences of constantly being told he was “the best actor” but they “went with the other guy”. I closed the book with renewed hope in my own future, too.

      • fargojones

        December 31, 2011 at 10:04 pm

        Thanks for the tip! Perhaps after I finish the third Hunger Games book.


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