I am about to say something I never thought I would hear myself say. Tonight ran for 10 minutes without ending in tears, and I wasn’t even being chased by someone wielding a bloody axe. Just a nice guy with a clipboard and a pencil. But I will get to that later.
At around 4 o’clock I called home to make sure the kids were going to be ready to go to the YMCA when I got home from work. I had scheduled sessions with a “Healthy Living Coach”. It’s sort of like a personal trainer, except fancier-sounding. There might be other differences but they’re not relevant to this story. Shortly after my daughter answered the phone, I heard her say “Oh noooooo!! SEEEEELLLBBYYYYYY!!!” Then she burst into tears. Of course I immediately asked what was wrong, and she replied that Selby had found her bag of valentines. Then eaten all the candy as well as most of their wrappers (except for one piece). And several of the valentines. To be fair, Emerson may well have been involved too, but Selby had evidence on her face. Also she looked really proud of herself.
All seemed to be well otherwise, so off we went to to Y. The kids had their appointments first; the coach, Matt, started by going over the rules with them. Then they got a little tour of the fitness room, and a tutorial on how to use the different cardio machines. They also did a short workout. Then they went off to play pool in the youth center while I had my appointment.
I had never been to a personal trainer so I didn’t know what to expect, but it was actually a great experience. First he asked if I had any goals, which I most definitely do. (1) I need to tone and strengthen my flabby and wimpy arms so as to make them more useful when rock climbing (not to mention reducing their wing-like appearance) AND (2) I want to do the 10K in the Fargo marathon this May. I want to be able to run at least part of it, if not all. Preferably without collapsing afterwards. Or during.
I explained to Matt that I am a sprinter by nature. I have very little endurance, and find it difficult to run at a reasonable pace for an extended period of time. If I start running, I feel compelled to run at top speed until I can’t run anymore. So Matt designed a workout to help me strengthen my upper body and improve my endurance. First I did a 3-minute warm-up on one of the cardio machines. Then he gave me a bunch of weight-lifting activities. I could list them for you but that would be dreadfully dull. After the weights he said he was going to make me run for ten minutes. To which I replied “you and whose bloody axe?” Okay not really, but BOY did I want to. I think he sensed my terror because he added “but not all at once.” PHWEW! So he put me on a treadmill. I NEVER use the treadmill. The last time I tried one (probably 2-3 years ago) it actually made me motion sick. I told him this too, but said I was willing to try it again since he would be there to make sure I didn’t fall off, or vomit, or both. He started me walking at a slow pace and gradually increased it until it matched my natural walking stride. I walked for about a minute, and then he said “okay, we’re going to run.” Of course by “we”, he really meant “me”. And by me, I mean me. Not him. Oh you know what I mean. Anyway, I had barely started running when he said “okay, now we’re going back to a walk.” We alternated running and walking for 30 seconds at a time until I got to the 20 minute mark, and then I actually ran for a full minute! And it barely even hurt! Some of you might scoff at such a paltry little run as one minute, but I am excessively proud of that minute because I ran it at a normal pace rather than a sprint. When I stepped off the treadmill, though, I felt a little drunk. It was strange; rather like stepping on solid ground after being on a boat. I felt as though things were still moving around me. It took a couple of minutes to get my balance back again. But even with the sea-legs problem, I felt so good after the workout I decided to schedule my next appointment for tomorrow! I KNOW! I can hardly believe it myself.
After we left the Y, we went to the store to get more chocolates for the valentines. Because my brain was still fuzzy from my workout, I opted to just bring in my wallet and leave my purse in the van. When we returned to the van I realized my that I had tossed my keys into my purse after I shut of the ignition. I also realized that I had locked the doors. Those two facts combined to mean I had locked my keys in the van. *facepalm* It wouldn’t have happened if Selby hadn’t eaten my daughter’s valentines. Also, my brain was still not fully functioning after the workout.
I blame the dog. And the exercise. Point is, it’s obviously not my fault.