Approximately 28 minutes 30 seconds inside my head while training for a 10K

26 Apr

Wednesday was week 3 day 3 of the 10K training program I had downloaded onto my phone. The program:

  • 5-minute warmup walk
  • 90-second run
  • 90-second walk
  • 3-minute run
  • 3-minute walk
  • 90-second run
  • 90-second walk
  • 3-minute run
  • 3-minute walk
  • 5-minute cool-down

I don’t know if it’s like this for everyone, but most days I have a constant dialogue of self-talk running through my head. Here’s a glimpse of what it’s like to be me for 28 minutes:

  • 00:00 *Start walking. Start app. Select “workout songs” playlist*
  • 00:30 What a lovely evening. Too bad it’s so windy.
  • 00:45 This song has a good tempo for walking. Glad I started with this one.
  • 01:10 Wow, that sun is bright; good thing I wore long sleeves and sunglasses.
  • 01:47 Wish I had worn a headband though because the wind keeps blowing my hair in my face.
  • 02:06 I’m so glad I decided to start working out while Stephen’s at his guitar lesson instead of sitting in the lobby trying to ignore those annoyingly dreadful teen-TV programs that all the kids think are funny.
  • 02:32 Ok who am I kidding? I get sucked into them every time. Even when I sit with my back to the TV.
  • 03:08 Remember you even recorded that episode of Wizards of Waverly Place.
  • 03:26 Obviously, I had to do it. Otherwise I would never know who was going to be the family wizard.
  • 04:04 I’m kind of hungry. It doesn’t help that the wind is blowing the smell from that pizza restaurant right at me.
  • 04:38 Mmmm pizza.
  • 05:00 Oh it’s time to run already? Okay here we go.
  • 05:27 This isn’t so bad. I suppose it helps that the wind is at my back.
  • 05:59 Strange that I haven’t met anyone running or walking in the other direction yet; last week there were tons of people out.
  • 06:08 Probably because it’s windy today.
  • 06:19 Boy am I glad I’m not playing softball in this weather. I feel bad for those people over there.
  • 06:30 Oh boy! Time to walk again. Phwew. That went pretty quick; maybe I can handle the three minute runs today after all.
  • 07:03 I wonder if I will be up for another program day tomorrow night?
  • 07:16 Oh yeah I forgot Stephen has a choir concert tomorrow night. It’ll probably be too late for a run after the concert.
  • 07:34 I wonder if real runners would be annoyed that I call this “a run” even though I only run half the time?
  • 07:48 Technically not even half the time actually because of the warm-up and the cool-down.
  • 08:00 What do you mean it’s time to run again? I swear it’s only been a minute!
  • 08:23 Hey, it’s the corner! That means I’m 1/4 done. Woo!
  • 08:28 Man I’m thirsty. I can’t wait until I get to walk again so I can take a drink.
  • 08:49 I wonder if all those cars passing me can tell I’m an amateur at this jogging thing. I bet I look pretty ridiculous.
  • 09:02 I wonder if anyone would stop and check on me if I passed out while running here.
  • 09:18 I hope I never have to find out the answer to that question.
  • 09:37 Any second now I’m sure the “Start walking” lady will rescue me.
  • 10:00 This song is pretty loud. Maybe it’s actually time to walk, and I just didn’t hear it.
  • 10:20 *look at phone* Forty seconds of running left? Are you kidding me?!
  • 10:40 I think this app is broken. There’s obviously something wrong with the timer.
  • 10:45 No one else would know if I stopped running early.
  • 10:50 But I would know. Stupid ND work ethic & Norwegian guilt.
  • 11:00 Oh thank God I can walk again. That was possibly the longest three minutes of my life.
  • 11:12 Oh great, that person is smoking. That means I get to walk through a cloud of secondhand smoke pretty soon.
  • 11:28 *cough cough* *snort*
  • 11:39 That smell actually reminds me of a friend of mine from college. I should send him a note on Facebook when I get home.
  • 11:50 I wonder if those drivers would laugh at me if the wind pushes me over sideways.
  • 11:55 Probably. I would totally laugh if I saw that.
  • 12:00 Yay! Another corner!! That’s halfway. Hurray!!
  • 12:02 OMFG that wind is so much worse than I thought now that I’m walking into it.
  • 13:06 Pretty soon I will have to RUN into this wind. That is not going to be fun.
  • 13:22 Hey, finally another runner. *wave and smile*
  • 14:00 Running again already. Crap. That three minutes went by way too fast.
  • 14:14 My legs already starting to burn.
  • 14:28 Another runner. *wave* Sorry dude, I can’t manage a smile with this grimace on my face. You only get one expression.
  • 14:36 I can’t feel my feet.
  • 14:45-17:00 I have blocked out this period of my memory. I think Future Me may have taken over my body like in that movie The Butterfly Effect. Everything that happens from this point forward may be an alternate timeline. In another timeline there might be a future me who has no legs because she jumped in front of a minivan just to make the running stop.
  • 17:00 HOORAY! It is time to walk. Forget what I said before, THAT was definitely the longest three minutes of my life. At least I think it was. Who cares as long as I get to walk again?
  • 17:40 Is that guy over there rollerblading into the wind?
  • 17:58 He totally is. That’s pretty brave. Or incredibly stupid. Maybe both.
  • 18:17 Holy cow he’s actually going to rollerblade into the wind AND up the hill.
  • 18:45 That’s like a deathwish or something.
  • 19:17 By comparison, I guess running into the wind isn’t as bad as rollerblading into the wind.
  • 19:40 Not that I’m in a big hurry to run again or anything.
  • 20:00 Speaking of which, if I ever meet this “Start Running” lady, I think I will punch her in the face.
  • 20:24 I mean, does she have to be so smug about it?
  • 20:42 I’m sure she’s laughing at me in between takes.
  • 21:30 But I think I would give the “Start Walking” lady a sloppy wet kiss.
  • 22:08 I might even consider marrying her if I didn’t already have a husband.
  • 23:00 Ooo, the “Begin cool-down” lady is my new favorite.
  • 23:53 Stephen learned this song on his guitar once.
  • 24:06 I wonder if he remembers how to play it?
  • 24:18 I wonder if he would ever play guitar so we could have a sing-along like Dad used to do?
  • 25:36 I miss that. Too bad Dad has arthritis.
  • 26:50 Also too bad I never had the patience to learn how to play the guitar myself.
  • 27:43 I guess I can add that to my bucket list. “Learn to play guitar before I develop arthritis in my hands.”
  • 28:00 YAY! I’m done!
  • 28:14 But I’m still 1/4 mile from the guitar lesson so I can’t quit walking yet. Damn.

Today’s program involved a 90-second run, a three minute run, and two 5-minute runs. I almost made it all the way through but halfway through the last 5-minute run I got a stitch in my side and my left knee started to hurt, so I walked the rest of it instead.

I am pretty proud of myself for running as much as I did, but I don’t feel like I can count the program complete until I actually finish it without walking when I’m supposed to run. I blame my parents for teaching me to be honest & stuff.


Posted by on April 26, 2012 in My new life plan, Schadenfreude for you


Tags: , , , , , ,

3 responses to “Approximately 28 minutes 30 seconds inside my head while training for a 10K

  1. mareserinitatis

    April 27, 2012 at 10:37 pm

    Someone mentioned to me that their friend was also doing the C25K, and they did each week twice. It actually took me about 11 weeks to finish the program. After the first three weeks, I strained my knee and had to take it easy for a bit. After I finished the six week mark, I got the flu and was out for about a week.

    I think the big thing is to listen to your body. It’s not so much work ethic as you don’t want to hurt yourself. If you have a hard time finished the workouts for one week, then you’re probably not ready to run the next week, so it doesn’t hurt to do it over. Most serious athletes train in cycles…increasing for two to three week periods and then backing off for a week. It seems like the 2 weeks on, one off works the best for me. If I try to go more than two weeks, I often get so run down that I’ll get sick easily. I’ll be able to run the whole 10k, but I’ve also been training for at least six months now, so it does take a lot of time.

    I love my running time now because it’s honestly the only time I ever get to listen to music.

  2. Anna

    May 2, 2012 at 6:50 pm

    so funny, and yes v. similar to my running monologue.

  3. kelleysbreakroom

    May 4, 2012 at 12:06 pm

    Ha! Too bad we can’t burn calories with all the thoughts running through our head, amirite? (Thanks for linking up with us over at #findingthefunny this week!)


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