I am an excellent conversationalist… When I have time to think about my answers. This evening I had to run to the grocery store for some strawberries (the only acceptable topping for my husband’s traditional birthday angel food cake), and happened to run into a friend I knew from high school and my first attempt at college.
“Heeeeeeyyyyy, how ARE you?!” I said, lamely.
“I’m good! What have you been up to?” He replied. And this is where I always lose the ability to form interesting replies.
“Oh, you know. Working. And sometimes not working. Alternately. Something like that.” #facepalm
“Uh, yeah. So… you remember my wife?” I didn’t, though I know that we we went to high school together and since I could see that she didn’t remember me either I said as much.
Then the three of us sort of stood there for a few moments. If it had been a cartoon one of us probably would have whistled something while crickets chirped in the background.
I love Facebook and Twitter because they give me to opportunity to come up with clever replies to people’s questions and comments without any of the awkward silences that normally accompany my real-life reunions.
Here are some better replies to the question “What have you been up to?” than what I actually said:
(1) Writing this blog here and also writing down (and sometimes drawing cartoons of) conversations with my pets in my other blog over here. Also Twitter and Facebook of course. I think all this writing about stuff that’s going on with me has erased any ability to actually speak with people about what’s going on with me.
(2) Wasting time on Draw Something. A lot of time. Also Words with Friends. And sometimes Scramble with Friends. But mostly Draw Something. And yes I know that I owe several of you a turn. Quit nudging me – I will not forget, I promise.
(3) Attempting to negotiate my children from being children to being teenagers. My son will be 14 in two weeks. FOURTEEN for chrissakes. He starts HIGH SCHOOL in the fall for crying out loud. My daughter will be 13 in December. How the cuss did that happen? I don’t bloody know.
(4) Did you know I went back to school? I worked my butt off for 6 years, raising my family, working and taking classes at the same time, having pretty much no social life, and putting myself massively into debt with student loans so I could get a degree in Veterinary Technology. I graduated 3 years ago and couldn’t get a vet tech job in Fargo so now I work in an office that’s not even remotely related to the veterinary field. So that’s awesome. Although most of the time I’m not bitter about it, except for once a month when I get my student loan statements.
(5) I do love my job though, so don’t let that last point give you the wrong impression. The company I work for is really great and I love my coworkers. Except for the ones who keep stealing my pens, whoever they are. Just kidding; I even love the ones who steal my pens. It’s probably the best job I have ever had.
(6) I built Hogwarts Castle out of Legos. I was going to take it to my office but I broke it when I tried to put it in the box and haven’t gotten around to putting it back together yet. It’s been in my closet for about 3 months but I swear I will put it back together soon….
(7) I ran the 10K in the Fargo Marathon. Well, I walked some and I ran some. But I ran more than I walked, and I finished it. I wrote a blog about that too. Now I’m training for a 5K in 2 weeks. And planning another 5K in October. Maybe more. I really hate running, but I love finishing races, so I have to keep signing up for races so I can’t quit running.
But most importantly, and I am still kicking myself for not saying this:
(8) What have YOU been up to?
Maybe I should keep this blog handy in case I run into anyone the next time I run out for groceries so I don’t allow an awkward silence to build up so long that I blurt out an even more awkward story about the time I had a huge pimple on my butt cheek or something.