Today while I was driving back to work after my lunch break, I thought of a blog idea that was so funny I actually chuckled to myself. But unfortunately for you, I had forgotten it by the time I got to the office so all I can offer you is the promise that you would have laughed yourself silly.
As penance for forgetting my awesome idea, I present to you this story about a woman who mistook a snake for a moldy banana.** I can almost hear you all thinking “HOW do you mistake a snake for a banana?!” but let me as you this: if you saw something like that on your bathroom floor, would you first though be “oh it must be a boa constrictor”? Having lived with young children, I can almost certainly say no. No I would not. In fact, after my initial disbelief wore off, I wondered how I *would* react if I saw something like that when I was cleaning. Here’s what I came up with:
(1) What the heck is that? *grab* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK I THINK IT BIT ME!
(2) Is that a moldy banana? That’s nasty! KIDS? Which one of you left this moldy banana on the bathroom floor? Pick it up this instant. We’re not leaving this bathroom until one of you admits to leaving a banana on the bathroom floor. Also, why were you eating a banana in the bathroom anyway? That’s incredibly unsanitary.
(3) I don’t know what that is, but I should go get a plastic bag to pick it up because there’s no way I’m touching whatever it is. *go to cupboard for plastic bag* *forget why I opened the cupboard* *close the cupboard* *walk away shaking my head* *get distracted by children and/or pets doing something they shouldn’t be doing* *forget all about mysterious moldy banana snake until the next time I am face-to-face with it.* [This one is probably the most likely].
To start off my week on a really good note, I went to the zoo today for a meeting about an awesome volunteer thing I will be doing tomorrow (don’t worry, I WILL blog about it after it happens), and I got to go hang out with the river otters for a little while. Damn, those guys are cute. Also they were in a good mood so they even let me pet them & didn’t even try to bite off my fingers. PROOF:
Also might I add, it is really really REALLY hard to get a good photo of a river otter, because they do not stop moving for more than 1/64th of a second. I have lots of pictures of a large brown blur (or two).
Now I have to go to sleep because tomorrow is going to be EPIC!
** Many thanks to Animals Behaving Badly for bringing this story to my attention.