The one app that should never ever EVER have a “share to Facebook” button

03 Aug

WARNING: TMI rating=4 out of 5 stars

I honestly did not intend to share this story with the public because it is so far over the TMI line the only thing that would make it worse would be confessing to a felony or something. But I just had to because there is an important lesson for everyone in this.

Remember last December when I had a colonoscopy to see if I had celiac’s disease? I don’t know if I ever mentioned the results but I do not have celiac’s disease, or any other kind of gluten intolerance. I also don’t have worms, which is comforting because ever since I had to watch an episode of Monsters Inside Me for a parasitology class, I have always had a little voice in my head saying “you might have roundworms” anytime I have an upset stomach. On the other hand, we still don’t know what actually IS wrong with me. So anyway, after the superfuntastic colonoscopy experience of a lifetime, I went about my business with no hope of ever having normal digestive function again.

Fast forward to this week. I am now trying a new treatment for irritable bowel syndrome, which is apparently what they call it when you have generalized abdominal discomfort most of the time. Of course I could be less vague about my particular issues but I am not going to because eww that is so gross. You’re welcome.

So anyway…as part of this treatment, I have to keep a diary of my bowel movements. For real.* Since I’m really terrible at remembering that kind of crap** I checked to see if there’s an android app for that kind of thing. Of course there is; more than one in fact. I selected one of the free ones that had the best reviews.

But here’s the kicker – they all include an option to share your posts to Facebook and/or Twitter. DEAR LORD, WHO USES THIS FEATURE? Even more horrifying, the app also has an option to take a PHOTO of your poop, and share that photo to your social media accounts. NO. Just, no. I mean, I am embarrassed that I even have this app on my phone; I am not about to start sharing my entries with the entire internet. Again, you’re welcome.

I’m going to be brutally honest here, and I hope I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings by saying this, but someone has to say it – no one on Facebook wants to know about your bowel movements.

Unless the poop looks like Jesus or something, in which case you need to share that crap*** on Twitter, post-haste.

*RIP dignity
**pun intended
***pun also intended


Tags: , , ,

7 responses to “The one app that should never ever EVER have a “share to Facebook” button

  1. Kellie @ Delightfully Ludicrous

    August 3, 2013 at 9:05 pm

    Wow … that’s just disturbing! What on earth were they thinking including that as part of the app?

    • karifur

      August 3, 2013 at 9:33 pm

      I can’t even imagine, but it seems like people actually use it because several of the app reviews made reference to the FB share option not working properly. If there was an option to reply to reviews I would have told them all it was clearly a sign that they should not share it to Facebook at all.

  2. fargojones

    August 4, 2013 at 7:12 am

    Read this one out loud to wife last night. After we were done gasping and laughing, she says “So when are they going to come down to the cities for awkward dinner or something?”

  3. shitastrophy

    August 8, 2013 at 1:27 pm

    I really have to thank you for NOT sharing the pictures! Crohn’s runs in my family, I have enjoyed the colonoscopy – not a good time. Best of luck to you, I ended up having to cut out high fat foods and take protonix for a few years and my stomach decided to go back to working. I owe the few years of stomach hell to my last pregnancy.

    • karifur

      August 8, 2013 at 2:14 pm

      Good to know there is hope… even if it means cutting out high fat foods. Which makes me want to cry just thinking about it

  4. Kim

    August 9, 2013 at 9:16 am

    But… maybe if I started sharing THAT, people would stop complaining about my gym shares!!! Huzzah!

    • karifur

      August 9, 2013 at 9:17 am

      LOL that’s one way to look at it!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: