Hey, remember last year when I did that indoor triathlon at the Y? Well there was another one at the end of April, and as usual I let my husband convince me to participate. We were supposed to be at the Y at 6:45 for a pre-race orientation. Ian was working the night shift at his second job so he was going to meet me at the Y as soon as he was off work. I am NOT a morning person, so I set two alarms to make sure I wouldn’t oversleep.
So obviously, I overslept. I remember waking up from the first alarm and checking my phone for messages, then I sort of vaguely recall the second alarm going off and shutting it off because I thought I was awake.
I was in the middle of dreaming about showing up at the Y at 9am and getting yelled at for being so late that I missed all the events. Then I woke up and thought “thank goodness it was just a dream” and saw the clock and completely panicked because it was 6:40 am. Not “I’m dreaming it’s 6:40 but really it’s 1:00 am so I’ll just go back to sleep”. It was actually “Holy cussing cuss it’s 6:40 and I have only 20 minutes to get dressed and get to the Y before the event starts and forget about going to that orientation because there’s no way I could get to the Y in 5 minutes without breaking several laws of physics.”
After texting my husband & parents and complaining on Facebook about oversleeping (priorities people), I booked it to the Y. I suppose it is fortunate that it was taking place at the Y near our house instead the other side of town like the last one. Since it was early Sunday morning there was practically no traffic, and I miraculously hit every green light on the way there. If you can believe it, I was only 5 minutes late for the race but of course I learned that Ian & I were both scheduled for the first heat. Turns out there were only 6 people signed up for the whole event so they didn’t mind waiting a couple of minutes for me to put my stuff in the locker before starting. That didn’t take long. I hadn’t even bothered changing out of my pajamas when I got up; I figured I’d be changing into my swimsuit at the Y anyway so why bother wasting time on dressing up when I was already late.
The two other ladies in my heat who had already waited patiently in the water for ten minutes past the official start time even offered to wait until I was used to the water before starting because DAAAAANG the water was COLD. No need though, my swim team experience as a kid taught me that the only way to warm up in a cold pool is to just start swimming. I had done no swim training at all since the last triathlon, so I expected my time to be pretty bad, and it was – 13:04, even slower than last time I did the triathlon. (Last time I had 12 minutes and something seconds).
Remembering how uncomfortable the bike seat was last year, my darling husband had loaned me a pair of padded bike shorts, which actually fit me pretty well. It wasn’t a miracle cure for bike-seat sorebuttitis, but it sure did help a lot. Shortly after we started biking the event monitors in the bike room flipped a switch trying to find a particular light, accidentally turning off the overhead lights and on the disco ball disco lights. “Oops!” they said and switched it back. But then we all said “Awww” so they turned on the disco ball again. It was probably the coolest bike ride I’ve ever done indoors. And it seemed to help my mood a lot because I did so much better than last year’s bike – 7.5 miles, not only better than last time but I think that is the furthest I have ever biked on a stationary bike.
I didn’t even bother trying to run the “Run” portion; I walked almost the whole thing with only a couple of very brief run breaks and one big sprint for the last 90 seconds. I ended up with a final total of 1.15 miles. Quite pathetic, if you happen to be in it for the numbers, but I was not. My goal for the event was just to finish, which I definitely did.
Of course I came in dead last, which did not surprise me. But I prefer to think of it a little differently: I finished in 6th place out of thousands of people in the FM area. So what if there were only 6 people in the race? I still beat all the people who didn’t even get out of bed until after the race was over. And I did it with very little training and 5 minutes after rolling out of bed. Not too shabby.
The best part was the participation prizes. Everyone got a coupon for 50% off an hour massage at the Y, AND a certificate for a free 1hr massage as well. And because my husband is the best in the whole world, he gave me his coupon and certificate too. So now I have two 1/2-price massages and 2 free ones as well. Doesn’t get much better than that!
I’ve already used one of those certificates. I mean, obviously I needed it after Sunday’s event.
Anyway, speaking of weekend events, this Saturday is the Fargo Marathon. Once again I allowed my husband to convince me that a marathon relay would be more fun than a boring old 5K. Probably the craziest thing I’ve done since signing up for the 10K a few years ago. My segment of the marathon is 5.5 miles so that should be “fun”, right?
This is why I’m saving the other massage certificate until after Saturday’s event.