ME: *turning off my alarm* Feeling pretty good about myself today!
DEPRESSION: Really? Did you forget about all the sad and/embarrassing things that have happened in your life?
ME: No, I didn’t forget, I just-
DEPRESSION: Remember that time in ninth grade when someone wrote something mean about you in your friend’s yearbook?
ME: Well I’d rather not, but yes I do remember that. Thanks.
DEPRESSION: I could do this all day! In fact, I think I will. Remember back in high school when that friend of yours died? Remember that time at work when you made a mistake and everyone laughed at you?
ME: I remember. Please stop bringing these things up. There’s nothing I can do about them now except feel sad.
DEPRESSION: Maybe you should sit down and draw a cartoon or write something. That would make you feel better.
ME: That’s a good idea.
DEPRESSION: Never mind. It will probably just be terrible and no one will like it. Might as well not bother.
ANXIETY: Hey guys, what’s going on?
ME: I was just saying how I felt pretty good when I woke up today and then-
DEPRESSION: That’s what I said!
ANXIETY: I can fix that.
ME: No, thank you, I really just want-
ANXIETY: Here’s a short list of some of the sad and embarrassing things that might happen to you and/or your loved ones in the future!
ME: This list is 11 pages long.
ANXIETY: Well, it’s the best I could come up with on short notice. Give me a little time and I can expand on that.
DEPRESSION: I have an idea. Let’s just go back to bed and think about it all until we fall asleep again!
ANXIETY: Why bother going to sleep? Let’s just sit in bed and think about it all day! It’s going to be so much fun!
ME: Yay. Listen, I’ve got responsibilities to take care of and bills to pay, so whether you want me to or not, I’ve got to get out of bed and go to work.
DEPRESSION: No problem, we’ll just come along. We can do our work wherever you go.
ANXIETY: We don’t even need to take breaks.