Why I shouldn’t attempt to accomplish things early in the morning

This weekend my boss at Job2 gave me a Starbucks gift card to celebrate my awesomeness and demonstrate support for my attachment to overpriced coffee-based beverages. I mean, technically she offered me one of a selection of cards, of which Starbucks was one, but yeah. I saw that one and the other cards never had a chance of seeing the inside of my wallet. It’s not overpriced if it’s FREE, right?

Since I had some extra time this morning before work, I decided to take advantage of that gift card and pick up something on the way to the office.

I guess I didn’t think to put that in my medical chart

Today I went to the doctor for my annual checkup. I always know it’s time for my annual checkup because I call the pharmacy to refill my prescriptions, and then later that day someone at the clinic calls me and says “Hey, it’s been over a year. If you want more drugs you gotta come see us, mmkay?”

You Won’t Believe What I Did This Weekend

Buckle up, friends, do I have a story for you!

It started with a phone call.

Friday night my dad called and asked if I could come over around 8. This was strange, because usually my mom is the one who calls me, though it’s not unheard of for my dad to call. We were just getting ready for our regular game night with our friends, which usually lasts until 10:30. I wouldn’t be able to stop over that evening. He said he needed to talk to me about something, but not over the phone. I said I could stop by the coffee shop where he goes in the mornings. No, he said, could I come by their place at around 10 am instead? I agreed.

Possibly the best account security question of all time

Recently at work, I had to register for a secure email account to receive a document from a vendor. During the registration process, I had to choose a security question. The third option on this list made me literally laugh out loud at my desk.

Waking Up with Depression and Anxiety, a play in one act.

[CURTAIN RISES]

ME: *turning off my alarm* Feeling pretty good about myself today!

DEPRESSION: Really? Did you forget about all the sad and/or embarrassing things that have happened in your life?

ME: No, I didn’t forget, I just-

DEPRESSION: Remember that time in ninth grade when someone wrote something mean about you in your friend’s yearbook?

Holding on to What I Haven’t Got

Do you ever randomly think of someone you haven’t seen in ages? This happens to me a lot. All day long, various things will remind me of my friends or family members. It’s like having a memory player on shuffle in my mind all the time. Sometimes it’s people I see every day. Sometimes it’s people I haven’t seen in years. 

Like an elephant graveyard, but with less elephants and more cars

This afternoon my husband and I volunteered for post-event cleanup after a local charity run. The run went through a park along the Red River, and the path was marked with little flags to direct the participants. Our job was to walk part of the trail and pull up the flags, as well as collect any garbage we found along the way. At one point we came across an unexpected sight:

Things our Butler does

Last month we adopted a 2-year-old Saint Bernard.

His name is Butler. He’s adorable and we love him like crazy, but sometimes he does silly things.

Weird things I can say in French

About a year ago I decided that I wanted to learn French, so I downloaded a free language-instruction app onto my phone. I lost motivation and quit using it last summer but recently picked it up again. Since it’s been so long I pretty much had to start over, but this has reminded me of how amusing the phrases can be in this app. I’d like to share with you some of the strange things I have learned to say in French, and their translations.*

Translation. I don’t think it means what you think it means

So I was just scrolling through Facebook, and saw this comment on a picture my aunt had shared of her dinner: