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Waking Up with Depression and Anxiety, a play in one act. 

Waking Up with Depression and Anxiety, a play in one act. 

[CURTAIN RISES]

ME: *turning off my alarm* Feeling pretty good about myself today!

DEPRESSION: Really? Did you forget about all the sad and/embarrassing things that have happened in your life? 

ME: No, I didn’t forget, I just-

DEPRESSION: Remember that time in ninth grade when someone wrote something mean about you in your friend’s yearbook?

ME: Well I’d rather not, but yes I do remember that. Thanks.

DEPRESSION: I could do this all day! In fact, I think I will. Remember back in high school when that friend of yours died? Remember that time at work when you made a mistake and everyone laughed at you?

ME: I remember. Please stop bringing these things up. There’s nothing I can do about them now except feel sad.

DEPRESSION: Maybe you should sit down and draw a cartoon or write something. That would make you feel better.

ME: That’s a good idea. 

DEPRESSION: Never mind. It will probably just be terrible and no one will like it. Might as well not bother.

ANXIETY: Hey guys, what’s going on?

ME: I was just saying how I felt pretty good when I woke up today and then-

ANXIETY: Really?

DEPRESSION: That’s what I said!

ANXIETY: I can fix that.

ME: No, thank you, I really just want-

ANXIETY: Here’s a short list of some of the sad and embarrassing things that might happen to you and/or your loved ones in the future!

ME: This list is 11 pages long.

ANXIETY: Well, it’s the best I could come up with on short notice. Give me a little time and I can expand on that.

DEPRESSION: I have an idea. Let’s just go back to bed and think about it all until we fall asleep again!

ANXIETY: Why bother going to sleep? Let’s just sit in bed and think about it all day! It’s going to be so much fun!

ME: Yay. Listen, I’ve got responsibilities to take care of and bills to pay, so whether you want me to or not, I’ve got to get out of bed and go to work.

DEPRESSION: No problem, we’ll just come along. We can do our work wherever you go. 

ANXIETY: We don’t even need to take breaks.

ME: *SIGH*

[CURTAIN]

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Posted by on July 10, 2017 in Depression, Life in General

 

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How to Fly alone without going completely batty

I’m not an expert traveler by any means, but I love to travel. No, scratch that. I love to go places other than my hometown. No, scratch that too. I love to BE in places that are not my home town. I’m not a huge fan of the process of going there.

Some of you might remember from a post I wrote in September that I suffer from travel anxiety. Since I am currently sitting in an airport, preparing to go on yet another trip without my family, I thought this would be a good time to talk about some things I do to try and and make traveling slightly more comfortable for myself. These tips might not work for everyone, but I’ll share them anyway because that’s what blogs are for, right?

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Posted by on January 17, 2013 in Life in General, Schadenfreude for you

 

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I’m sure all the terrorists hide their explosives behind their elbows.

I sometimes suffer from travel anxiety. Okay, always. I always suffer from travel anxiety, though the severity varies. If there were a formula for my anxiety, it would look like this:
A = [(m+1) * d]/(n*1,000)
Where “m” is the number of miles from home I will be traveling, “d” = is the number of days I will be away from my family, and “n” is the number of people and/or pets who are with me (including myself). “A” is measured in Angst units.

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Posted by on September 10, 2012 in Family Life, Life in General, Schadenfreude for you

 

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Back to School, Part One

Today my daughter has guilted me into participating in a special event at her middle school which is called “Parents Replace Your Child Day”, though I prefer to think of it as “Educators Torment Parents by Reminding Them What Latent Anxieties They Still Harbor from Their Youth Day”.

My day actually began yesterday at about 2 pm, when I suddenly realized that OH MY GOD I was going to be in middle school in less than 24 hours. Since I graduated from high school almost 20 years ago, I have continued to have recurring nightmares about school. The most common is probably the one where I get to school and realize I forgot my schedule and have no idea which class I’m supposed to be attending. Or I get lost. Or go to a class and realize I completely forgot to go to a different class. Or I forget my locker combination and can’t get any of my books.

I could go on for quite a while on this subject, but I once read somewhere that a good blog should be brief but also informative and to the point. I think you all understand the point I’m trying to make here. While I am reliving the not-so glorious days of my 6th grade experience, my daughter will be going to work with Ian, who I believe is relishing this torture even more than the evil geniuses who thought devised it. Rest assured I will be documenting my experience for posterity, in the event that I do not make it out alive. If you haven’t heard from me by tomorrow, send out a search party, and don’t forget to look inside all the lockers.

 
2 Comments

Posted by on September 29, 2011 in Family Life, Uncategorized

 

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