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Tag Archives: parenting

How my teenager improved my day without saying a word

Parenting teenagers can be really difficult sometimes. They don’t listen. They talk back. They scream at you. You are the worst mom in the whole world. So-and-so’s mom would never make her kids do that. They hate you. You ruin EVERYTHING. They can’t wait to move out of your house and live their own lives without you breathing down their necks all the time.

But then…. sometimes a little thing can happen that makes you forget all of that, even if it’s just for a little while. You get a tiny breakthrough.

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Posted by on February 8, 2015 in Family Life, Life in General

 

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Road trips with children are not for the faint of heart

Road trips with children are not for the faint of heart
Disclaimer: This is not my friend's baby. Or mine for that matter. Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ollycoffey/7248445434/

Disclaimer: This is not my friend’s baby. Or mine for that matter.
Source: https://www.flickr.com/photos/ollycoffey/7248445434/

So, remember in my last post several weeks ago, where I made a passing reference to a two-day road trip with my friend and her kids, and promised I would write about it later? Okay, so this is a bit later than I originally intended, but here it is.

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Posted by on August 14, 2014 in Family Life, Schadenfreude for you

 

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Fargo woman decides to go as a Judgmental, Fat-Shaming Jerkface for Halloween*

Perhaps you have heard this viral story about the Fargo woman who called a local radio station and announced her intention to hand out letters instead of candy to those children who she deems to be “moderately obese”. I’m not sure what gave this woman the idea that it was her duty to assess the general health of every child who comes trick-or-treating to her house this year, nor do I know what sort of education she has that makes her think she is qualified to make that determination based on a few seconds looking at a child in his/her costume. The thing is, it doesn’t matter, because no matter what her education might be, she has no right to pass judgment on children or their parents. I had every intention of writing a reply to “Cheryl” outlining the dangers in her plan, and suggesting some genuinely helpful things she could do instead if she really wanted to encourage children to be healthy.

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Life is so much easier when people’s expectations of you are low

A friend of mine currently has an 8-month-old baby. If you have ever had young children, or spent much time around someone who does, then you are surely aware that they often get enthusiastic praise for just about every little thing they do. For example, my friend’s little girl is working hard at being an early walker. She has been pulling herself up to stand assisted for a while, but yesterday she stood on her own for the first time. For a few seconds, anyway.

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One question you never want to hear at the doctor’s office

Last night my daughter stubbed her toe while trying to avoid stepping on the cat who, like most cats, has a habit of being underfoot at the most inconvenient times. Later, she accidentally landed on the same toe when trying to climb over something in her room. This morning she bumped the same toe while walking into the dining room. THE EXACT SAME TOE, you guys. Three times in less than 24 hours.

This kid has the worst luck. It seems like she is injuring herself every week. I’m amazed she hasn’t broken more bones in her lifetime. She’s had more serious injuries in less than 13 years than I have had in nearly 37. It’s almost like an art form for her.

Obviously the walk-in clinic ordered x-rays, which I expected. When we got to the xray room the nurse asked the usual questions:

“What’s your name?”
“When’s your birthday?”
“Is there any chance you could be pregnant?”

Wait, what?

WHAT?!

The nurse must have sensed my horror because she turned to me and said “Sorry, we have to ask because of her age.” Could someone please bring me something for the heart attack that nurse just gave me?

Okay I get it. My daughter is of the age when that sort of thing is possible. But I was SO NOT READY to hear that question today. This is my baby girl we’re talking about. Thank goodness her answer was “no”, but just hearing the question was enough to make me want to vomit. Nothing like that to suddenly remind a mother that her child is growing up. I mean, only 20 more years or so and she might have to answer “yes”. Okay, 15 more years, but that’s as low as I’ll go.

The radiographs didn’t show any obvious fractures, so they recommended ice, elevation, and ibuprofen. They also gave her a flat-soled shoe which is supposed to help make it less painful to walk by preventing her from bending the toe but actually still hurts because the straps that hold the shoe on her foot lay right across the swollen toe. Also it’s really ugly and makes her right leg shorter than her left leg because the sole is not as thick as the sole of her regular shoe.

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No honey, it's fine. I'm sure all the cool kids we'll be wearing these in a year. You're a trendsetter!

The best thing about the shoe is that the sole is made of that crappy black rubber you aren’t supposed to wear in gym because it leaves scuff marks all over the floor. Awesome.

It’s a good thing we got the ugly shoe though because she has already almost stubbed her toe again at least twice since we got home. Seriously, that toe has some kind of death wish.

 
 

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My son is Batman and I am really damn old. Apparently.

My son had his first-ever job interview today. When he scheduled the interview, I immediately texted Ian and my mom: “OMFG he has an interview on Thursday!” Ian said “cool” and I said “yeah” but in reality I was like “How is this cool? I have a child who is actually old enough to have a job interview. I’m a freakin dinosaur. This is SO not cool.” Have I ever told you about how when I was a kid I had to walk uphill both ways to see my grandparents? True story.** I guess it’s not really relevant to this story; just another bit of evidence that I practically have one foot in the grave.
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Comparative analysis of a 4-year-old son versus a 14-year-old son

4-YEAR-OLD: Never wants to go to sleep because there are so many fun things to do. Wakes you up before your alarm goes off every day.
14-YEAR-OLD: Would sleep all day if you let him.

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